back chat and horses

I was working in their paddock and two of them came closer to the wheelbarrow all the time. I directed them away again and again. At some point one of them even pushed the thing over. I thought: I quit if this continues, I just quit. After some time I felt that I wasn't able to control the situation any longer and that's where my back chat really kicked in: I felt angry and I imagined that I would stick the plastic shovel like thing in their eye. I self-forgave all thoughts and emotions. 

This was yesterday, and today I feared that I would experience the nasty emotions again, when I'd go there. So I had to face this fear first and then I left home. 

One of the horses walked to the wheelbarrow but I was able to direct her away. Later on I felt in my back chat the allowance to act nasty to a being that is dependent on me.

So every day, during the day I see into me what the back chat is all about and I discussed the point with my sister and she admitted to have back chat as well and told me about it. Cool.

I even found that I back chat about the back chat that I expect my sister to have...!