Electricity as and of myself

since my discovery of the electrical currents in my chest which I separated myself from, hiding away in fear because of their strange feeling in my body, I forgave myself  for fearing and that opened up the possibility to stand one and equal as these currents, and I forgave myself for empowering the lines in my chest through electricity as and of myself, (not all of them yet,) and instead becoming one and equal as the physical.
I discovered more lines, two going up on the sides of my neck, I found that I believed that I needed these to keep myself strong and that I really couldn't do without them, two more going down from my eyes, related to severe anger out bursts, and more.

meeting a woman and back chat

At my sister's horse farm, a woman came to stay for about one year. I met her there and a pattern started up in which I was trying to see her as a new partner for sex. I noticed that I started to imagine what I would look like and I adjusted my body movements to make a good impression. I stopped this immediately.
I felt in myself the desire to just fall in love and to surrender to this. I stopped it.
I felt I wouldn't be able to resist her when she would make a move towards me. I stopped it.
I felt an excitement when I, being at home, imagined going to my sister's, because I would meet her again. I stopped it.
I still felt pain in my left shoulder/upper part of my back, so I wasn't ready yet.
I found that I had a indecisiveness towards her placed in the future, I corrected this.
So I'm confident that I handle myself well in this back chat uproar.