fear<=>anger

to exist in and as fear had become normal for me, the way to escape was anger. But then I feared that others would become even more angry than myself as a reaction, so I suppressed my anger. I saw that I existed in the polarity: fear versus anger. I forgave myself, and I watched myself in the rest of the day. The existence in and as fear became really clear after this, and I was able to stop myself as such. Later on the day I felt myself as I remembered myself from childhood, where I completely surrender to my Earthly existence.