sinusitis, and "must"

What i found was that i kept a kind of vague mass in my head, expressing: o I don't know that, don't ask me - type of thing. I kept it to hide behind to not speak out, fearing confrontations.

So I cleared this one and guess what: I start to smell again! I had lost smelling almost completely, due to sinusitis, due to keeping the vagueness.

Another thing; I was at my girlfriend's and after spending some time together I said: I must do internet now. She said; "must"? are you obligated to do so? And I had to take a look at this point. Did I feel I must do my internet application, or was it self-directed?

I left it alone for a while, spending time together. It was cool because she shared with me her letting go of her overly disciplined life style, and it was fun and enjoyment. I checked my mail a few times and I missed some group chats, but I could read them later. So all in all cool and a letting go of 'must'.

Cyber Wars of Money

religious lady friend

I talked to her about believing in ‘God’ and ‘Jesus’ as a serious psychiatric condition. And I directed us to the point were we were to decide wether we would continue our friendship. She called a friend of hers to discuss the matter and she came back to me with the proposal to respect each other so I explained to her what is respect: thaty I cannot be her friend when I respect her, meaning that I wouldn’t care when I see that she’s addicted to a illusion.

Lateron I said, well your religion isn’t such a big thing in your life, you do speak up in friendships when there is something the matter and you direct it. We were kind of cool with that.

The next day I explained how her argument that nobody knows for sure that God doesn’t exist isn’t valid. I used the example of a person believing that the government is spying on him. And you say to such person: there is no evidence for this, how he would say: but no one knows for sure. She had to laugh. 

She had said the day before that she wasn’t going to give up her religion, even when it would mean losing me as a friend. 

I was working on my laptop, and she was watching tv. I said: to change the world we have to work on it, not incidentally, but continuously. 

I made a remark on a subject on the news, she said o, I don’t really hear what’s being said. 

She said we must leave the subject of religion so we can still be friends. I said as a friend I want to speak to you directly, or I wouldn’t call it friendship.

I really don’t see how we can continue, she said she’d think about it and she would let me know.

Common Sense as Pre-Programmed Intuition

2012 and The Future of Reincarnation

update and possession

I have my body as an empty space, in which it is silent. Anything that moves in there just like that, I delete, I forgive myself. Like memories, thoughts, movement of energy like feelings/emotions/anxiety. Breath is here as my self. 

I was at the dentist, A tooth had broken. While she was busy building a new tooth on the remains I found a point connected. I saw a woman’s lips coming close to kiss me, lipsticked in pink. I was in a memory, as a child I experienced this and I hed felt that I wanted to stand up against such lips, but I didn’t and I suppressed myself. I stood as the point and I forgave myself. 

Another point connected to this tooth was me offering my jaw for a blow from a fist. In an effort to tempt someone to act in this way, so it would then prove him violent and guilty of violence, so he would know he is wrong and that makes me right. A strange way to ‘save myself’. lol

This weekend my girlfriend thanked me for my patience. We are quit comfortable. 

I looked after her dog and the two horses when she was gone and in the evening I had a chat on private forum, just around the time they normally go in the stables. After a while the dog informed wether I hadn’t forgotten about the horses. I walked over to the window to listen if they were upset, running along the fence, nothing. I ‘told’ them to enjoy being out late. The dog was satisfied.

Lady friend demon possession.

I am visiting her and we were at the dinner table and she made this sign of a cross across her chest as a christian symbol. I intended to say something but suddenly she said in a loud voice: “don’t cut yourself with that knife!” three times. I asked her what she had felt, she said irritation. I said it’s because of your religion. But she couldn’t put one and one together. Later in the evening I refered to the event and repeated what she had called out, she didn’t remember! She couldn’t believe that she had said it. So complete possession. 

How to Bring Peace to The World

back chat and horses

I was working in their paddock and two of them came closer to the wheelbarrow all the time. I directed them away again and again. At some point one of them even pushed the thing over. I thought: I quit if this continues, I just quit. After some time I felt that I wasn't able to control the situation any longer and that's where my back chat really kicked in: I felt angry and I imagined that I would stick the plastic shovel like thing in their eye. I self-forgave all thoughts and emotions. 

This was yesterday, and today I feared that I would experience the nasty emotions again, when I'd go there. So I had to face this fear first and then I left home. 

One of the horses walked to the wheelbarrow but I was able to direct her away. Later on I felt in my back chat the allowance to act nasty to a being that is dependent on me.

So every day, during the day I see into me what the back chat is all about and I discussed the point with my sister and she admitted to have back chat as well and told me about it. Cool.

I even found that I back chat about the back chat that I expect my sister to have...!

Earth and Horse

some time ago I decided that I would stay on Earth, that I am of Earth and that I no longer want to be in heaven through ascension or in my after life.

Today I was cleaning the paddock from horse manure and a horse stood there and I realized that I was a lesser being than the horse and I expressed myself as such by cleaning their paddock. 

Desteni Artists - Equal money Equal life

self-forgiveness all the way?

Some days ago I wondered: had I actually planned/decided to apply self-forgiveness all the way? And I found that I hadn't. I did hold back something 'in the future'. So I breathed and I 'looked into the future' and I 'carried' my self-forgiveness application all the way through till nothing was left.

I was working with some people at my sister's horse farm and I found that I was the directive principle. I moved myself and I moved others where necessary. At some point a tricky situation appeared where a discussion started on how to proceed with the work. I succeeded to not feed the discussion, but to let the arguments of the lady just be, and then just remain in my directiveness, so I was able to let my proposal speak for itself and to not end up in conflict.

The horses assisted me with a point: I, at some point in my life had decided to never really bond to anything/anyone to avoid any emotions when I would lose it/the person. I was working on the horse manure and after an hour or so i felt 'embraced' by the horse community, and fully integrated. While finishing my work and leaving the farm, I noticed how I was retrieving  form the oneness, So, some more 'work' to do to stop this pattern.

Animal Bugs & Plants in Equal Money System The Book Preview

Answering your Prayers in the End Times

Lifestyle with Financial Freedom