donderdag 7 april 2011

back chat and horses

I was working in their paddock and two of them came closer to the wheelbarrow all the time. I directed them away again and again. At some point one of them even pushed the thing over. I thought: I quit if this continues, I just quit. After some time I felt that I wasn't able to control the situation any longer and that's where my back chat really kicked in: I felt angry and I imagined that I would stick the plastic shovel like thing in their eye. I self-forgave all thoughts and emotions. 
This was yesterday, and today I feared that I would experience the nasty emotions again, when I'd go there. So I had to face this fear first and then I left home. 
One of the horses walked to the wheelbarrow but I was able to direct her away. Later on I felt in my back chat the allowance to act nasty to a being that is dependent on me.

So every day, during the day I see into me what the back chat is all about and I discussed the point with my sister and she admitted to have back chat as well and told me about it. Cool.

I even found that I back chat about the back chat that I expect my sister to have...!

dinsdag 5 april 2011

Earth and Horse

some time ago I decided that I would stay on Earth, that I am of Earth and that I no longer want to be in heaven through ascension or in my after life.

Today I was cleaning the paddock from horse manure and a horse stood there and I realized that I was a lesser being than the horse and I expressed myself as such by cleaning their paddock. 

maandag 4 april 2011

Desteni Artists - Equal money Equal life

self-forgiveness all the way?

Some days ago I wondered: had I actually planned/decided to apply self-forgiveness all the way? And I found that I hadn't. I did hold back something 'in the future'. So I breathed and I 'looked into the future' and I 'carried' my self-forgiveness application all the way through till nothing was left.

I was working with some people at my sister's horse farm and I found that I was the directive principle. I moved myself and I moved others where necessary. At some point a tricky situation appeared where a discussion started on how to proceed with the work. I succeeded to not feed the discussion, but to let the arguments of the lady just be, and then just remain in my directiveness, so I was able to let my proposal speak for itself and to not end up in conflict.

The horses assisted me with a point: I, at some point in my life had decided to never really bond to anything/anyone to avoid any emotions when I would lose it/the person. I was working on the horse manure and after an hour or so i felt 'embraced' by the horse community, and fully integrated. While finishing my work and leaving the farm, I noticed how I was retrieving  form the oneness, So, some more 'work' to do to stop this pattern.