My son is Chinese

My son is Chinese
About one year before the conception, I was walking down the street and I looked into a emotion I had felt for some time, something was bothering me, making me feel not free to choose what I wanted to do in the near future. I saw it was a unknown Chinese person. I wondered if it was me in a past life, I didn’t figure it out. Within the months that followed, each time I had intercourse with my wife, I had visions of a Chinese interior, a Chinese bedroom, and I saw her and myself as Chinese persons. When my son was born, we went to see a clairvoyant, a lady that also applied homoeopathy, and she said: have a good look at your son: he’s Chinese. So I took this as a confirmation. And after this when I saw him asleep, I saw a Chinese aura around his head.

I started believing that he had wanted to be born in China, but due to abortion in the context of the one child policy, he had chosen to be born here. I felt sad that he wouldn’t be able to meet the people he would have like to meet in his life time and I imagined that he would feel not at home in Holland and wouldn’t be able to find friends here.
One night I saw in myself the face of a young Chinese woman and a young Chinese man. I assumed that this were a sister and a brother of his. The face of the woman was not moving and I assumed that she had died already. Later on I felt I made contact with the Chinese parents that my son would have had, and I felt that they gave me their energy that they would have spend on his upbringing.
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Nothing of all of this was in any way relevant to the reality of day to day living, it existed in my imagination only: the emotion that something didn’t match, that something wasn’t right. The fact that I wasn’t able to take care of my son is what should have bothered me, but the emotion was directed to the imagination and therefor I wasn’t bothered by my abusive behavior and I didn’t realize I had to take action to intervene and stop and change.